Story Synopsis new and newer

Well here we are, a new story, with a simple concept, a businessman trying to get to 

train on time, yet there is a obstascle getting his way.....a Mime

• Title
• Opening shot the mime is doing his mime wall gag
• Businessman walking quickly
• Checks watch
• See the watch
• Businessman looks up
• Sees a sign....this shows the audience that the businessman is after a train
• Mime is acting away when businessman walks along and....
• Hits head
• Falls down
• Mime is shocked
• Starts waving
• Rubs his head annoyed
• His mood changes to shocked and then to puzzled
• Businessman slowly moves his hand up
• A slow pan as his hand moves to the invisible wall
• Checks his watch again
• Time change
• Zoom out to show the panic on his face
• Readys himself to push through the invisible wall
• More pushing
• Defeated
• Shot of behind the mime who is walling...
• Pause...
• Businessman pops ups
• Shouts
• Mime is charading he cant hear
• Businessman feels the top of his head
• He then moves his hand down face to show his frustration
• Businessman looks angry 
• Mime looks concerned due to the state the businessman is in
• Mime is reaching behind him
• Massive mime fan
• Swings the fan
• Businessman starts getting blown back....(cat flys by)
• Falls and rolls back
• Mime waves as the businessman is blown back
• Businessman stands in a angry pose
• He heads towards the mime
• Businessman is in deep thought
• He has an idea
• Decides to walk around
• Mime initiates the mime gag
• Businessman takes a side step
• So does mime
• Businessman takes a step back 
• So does mime
• They both take a step forward
• They are now face to face
• Businessman backs away
• His frustration shows
• Businessman checks his watch 
• Panic has increased
• Businessman charges towards mime
• Sudden stop
• Runs to the side to avoid him 
• Mime follows creating his wall as he does
• Businessman is exhausted
• Mime takes advantaged and creates a box around him
• Businessman tries to move and his face gets squashed
• Panic
• Businessman starts banging and hitting box
• Box fills with dust
• Box moves side to side
• Box falls
• Mime makes a flinche movement
• Dust escapes the box
• Businessman sits up looking dased and confused
• Businessman looks close to breaking point
• Starts charading to the mime
• A few poses to signal he has to get to work
• Mime starts nodding to signal he understands
• Mime points and signals that there is a handle to open
• Businessman starts looking for the handle
• Businessman grabs the handle
• Businessman starts to look delighted
• Starts pulling
• Really exagerated poses
• Uses feet
• Realises that he is floating
• Falls
• Mime door opens inward
• Businessman walks by the mime
• Mime starts waving happily
• Businessman gets to the train time board
• Cancelled
• Businessman face drops
• Smiles as he grudgingly accepts defeat
• Walks back
• Flat face
• Return of the mime 

 Of course this is only a first draft looking at it....its way, way too long and alot of changes will be required but ill do a quick draft of storyboards and give them to Steph http://y3sdarbyriverman.blogspot.co.uk/ we will discuss some changes and she will give me a updated storyboard which will be developed and eventually be made into a animatic.

Story outline

·        1) Aerial shot of the environment, slow pan in as the man runs around the corner

·        2) Man moving quickly towards the camera 

·        3) Stops checks his watch, looks around he then sees what he is looking for

·         4)Train station sign

·        5) Businessman starts running

·        6) Businessman runs towards train station

·        7) Runs towards the camera, BANG!! He hits his head he then tumbles and holds his head in pain

·         Side shot he looks ups, confused and puts out a hand he then touches the mime wall and begins to panic

·        8) He looks to the side and notices

·       9)  Overshot of the businessman looking at the mime who is doing a mime wall

·       10)  Mime is sway pretending to be a tree

·       11)  Businessman is annoyed and storms over

·       12)  Mime is doing a mime wall and then he see the Businessman coming over but the mime just continues to do his mime wall gag, he then slides his face against an invisible wall

·       13)  Businessman looks annoyed pressure builds and he starts yelling at the mime

·      14)   Overshot the mime is doing a funny face as he continues his mime wall, the mime then takes notice and then salutes in response, he then starts looking for something

.

·      15)   Side shot we see the mime feeling the wall looking for something he starts moving towards the camera, the businessman is watching him move

·       16)  Businessman just looks confused, he checks his watch as the sound of the train arrives, he then decides to follow the mime

·      17)   The scene is blank as the mime runs feeling a wall he then stops, the businessman runs on the mime smiles and runs off feeling a wall with the businessman chasing him

·      18)   Front shot of the businessman trying to keep up

·      19)   Camera shows the behind of the mime doing a invisible wall with the businessman chasing behind, the mime then changes direction, businessman skids and continues to follow the mime.

·      20)   We see the mime feel for something, the mime then stops as the businessman comes and skids on screen 

·       21)  Businessman looks at the mime in an angry expression

·       22)  Mime looks on pleasingly

·       23)  We have a image of the mimes hand grabbing what appears to be a handle

·       24)  Mid shot of character we have the mime pulling, he then appears to be confused

·       25)  Businessman looks clueless

·       26)  Mime looks worried as the door refuses to open

·       27)  Hand shot as he tries pulling on the handle with 2 hands

·       28)  Shows the mime pulling

·        29) Businessman is looking really annoyed

·       30)  The mime is pulling really far and is sweating, he then pauses

·       31)  Mime has both hands on the handle as the 1 foot go up against the mime wall

·       32)  Shows the mime doing a exaggerated pull

·       33)  Businessman looks on clueless

·       34)  Mime now brings a 2^nd foot as he attempts to pull the invisible door open

·       35)  Shot of the mime floating in mid-air as he attempts to pull the door open, the Businessman in the shot looks directly at the mime not impressed

·        36) Businessman is running out of patience

·       37)  Mime looks worn out, he then gets a sudden idea then he smacks his own head and acts all stupid as he moves his hand down

·        38) The mime has his hand twist and push what appears to be a imaginary door

·        39) Shot of the businessman and the mime, as the mime invites the businessman through the imaginary door

·       40)  Mime smiles and signals him to come through

·         41) Businessman looks on and puts out his arm out feeling for the imaginary wall, when he can’t feel the wall he looks delighted

·       42)  Businessman runs towards the station with the mime in background being silly

·       43)  Shot of the train station, as the businessman on the screen the train sets off

·       44)  Businessman looks on with defeat on his face, he turns defeated

·       45)  Starts walking away from the station……BANG!!!  He hits the mime wall

·       46)  Credits 

This is the updated story and the one that will be used when it comes to producing my animated short

it has alot more structure and i believe it will be great when it is produced.